“That Day” Changed My Life


We all have certain days in our lives which we can point back to and say, “That was the day my life changed.”

For those of us who have lived a bit longer we may have more than one day we can point back to as “that day.” Some of the days are happy occasions, such as: the day we met our spouse, or had a baby, or got a new job, or changed spiritually. On the other hand, some of our “that days” are the ones where our spouse died, or we lost a child, or we lost our job, or we were injured in war, or we found out we had cancer.

One of my “days that changed my life” happened twelve years ago to the day. It was a horrible, life-altering, heart-breaking, physically-damaging, unforgettable day.

The full details are unnecessary, but some of them help bring perspective. My “that day” involved my now-ex-husband, a can of pepper spray, broken doors, a bathroom floor, and the side of a tub. It involved trauma to my head, neck, spine, and right arm. It involved hiding what happened from friends and family, lying about it to the doctor (whom I waited a few days to see), and a cover-up by my in-laws. In other words, it was not an atypical experience for a battered wife.

Twelve years later I can look back and pinpoint it as the day that my body took a beating from which I will never fully recover. It was the day that led to my first brain surgery, which led to my second brain surgery, which may not be my last brain surgery. It was the day that eventually led to me having a metal plate in my right arm and a titanium mesh plate in my skull. But, more importantly, it was the day that led to me feeling like God hated me, abandoned me, and wanted nothing to do with me.

After “that day”, life was never the same physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, relationally, or spiritually. It was a definite turning point in my life and I will forever remember it as an infamous day.


Twelve years later instead of focusing on what “that day” was like, I find myself (at least trying to) focus on the blessings God has brought into my life.

I have a loving husband, two cuddly fur-babies, a house that acts as a place of rest for people, seminary homework I get to do, two coffee makers (at least) to keep me caffeinated, a love for God that has changed my life, the ability to forgive and move on, great doctors who are helping me to have a better quality of life, a number of fantastic girlfriends I can both laugh with and cry with, an eternal perspective, and a much different way of thinking about myself.

“That day” I was battered both physically and verbally. I was told things about myself that were utter lies; the type of things that come straight from the father of lies and are spoken over many battered wives.


Twelve years later, I “KNOW the truth, and the truth [has] set me free” (John 8:32); I “trust 1387052194097in the Lord with all [my] heart, and lean not on [my] own understanding; [I try to] in all [my ways] acknowledge Him, And He direct[s my] path” (Proverbs 3:5-6]; and I KNOW “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the person of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16). I also KNOW that I am a child of God (John 1:12), that I was chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit (John 15:16), that I am a temple—a dwelling place–of God (1 Corinthians 3:16), that His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 6:19), that I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession (1 Peter 2:9-10), and so many more truths which are found in Scripture.


Although it would be nice to not be neurologically deficient and physically disabled, I am thankful for the Truth and the blessings God has brought into my life since, and because of, “that day.” God has taught me the power of forgiveness, the hope of an eternal perspective, the encouragement to be found in Him, the joy of the Lord that is my strength, and to only set my hope on Him.

My question to you is, “What have you learned since your ‘that day’?”

Stay encouraged, for the Truth will set you free and even bad “that days” can be redeemed!

Lici Joy, the coffee-guzzling-truth-telling-joy-finding-polka-dot-fanatic

About licijoymanship

I'm a work in progress--much like this blog. So expect this "about me" to change as I do ;-) I'm an energetic person by nature living in a body that lacks energy. I'm a person of movement struggling with a body that fails to move in the ways I want it to. I'm a person who loves to be social who lives a fairly secluded life, quite reluctantly, on this couch. Living with chronic, incurable, and rare medical conditions can be discouraging and lonely. When we share our stories and listen to the stories of others, we gain valuable insights that can bring encouragement on the darkest days, ideas for new treatment options, and primarily, feel a little less alone in our struggles. My life isn't following my Plan A, my Plan B, my Plan C, or probably even my Plan X. But it's my life and I'm trying to live it the best I can while struggling with Chronic Intractable Migraine, Familial Hemiplegic Migraine, the effects of two posterior fossa decompression surgeries for my Chiari Malformation, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, PTSD, (likely) EDS, (undiagnosed) Chronic Fatigue, widespread pain, and some other yet unknown issue that has left a "pocket" in the artery that runs by my pituitary gland. It's lonely, discouraging, difficult, and the only way I get through it is with a good sense of humor, the practice of living thankfully, the ability to connect with other people, and the fur-babies who keep me getting out of bed one day at a time. Of great encouragement of course, is my loving, understanding, and patient husband. I'm the girl who loves to write and yet fails to do so for long periods of time. I intend to update this blog at least once a week, but with this failing body who knows if I'll be able to stick with it. And yes, I am a woman of deep faith, so if you stick with me here you may occasionally come across some of my thoughts on Scriptural topics, so feel free to skip those if you choose. My faith has helped to form my character and is part of who I am, but it's not the only thing in my life that people can relate to and find encouragement from. Just sayin'.

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